How to Build Self Confidence

There are lots of ways to build self confidence. Some are better than others (like everything in life) and you may well find that you react better to some of these suggestions than others. That’s fine! We’re all individuals. So take the time to check through the list and home in on one or two ideas that almost leap up at you out of the screen as ways that you can use to build up more confidence in yourself.

1. Don’t be scruffy

The old adage of dress for success is actually quite true. If you dress scruffily, with clothes that haven’t seen a washing machine for longer than you’d care to admit and that haven’t got a clue what an iron looks like, that will actually creep into your opinion of yourself.

Dressing smarter – it doesn’t have to be a snappy three piece suit or a power dress – will work its way into your self confidence quite fast.

Part of the logic on this is that you do tend to feel happier and more confident when your clothes look good.

Another part of the logic is that your subconscious mind isn’t having to constantly evaluate what other people are thinking about how you look. So it automatically helps your confidence levels when you’re not thinking negative thoughts about your appearance.

Which leads us neatly on to the next tip:

2. Reduce those negative thoughts

You know the ones.

The thoughts of “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not good enough” or even worse.

Sometimes our negative thoughts are so bad we wouldn’t dare speak them out loud.

Now, getting real, it’s unlikely that you’ll manage this trick in one go. But with regard to negative thoughts, it’s actually a war of attrition.

As much as anything, you need to cut down the number of times you let them dwell in your mind.

Start by putting a rubber band round your wrist. A bit like those charity bands that you buy every now and then – so no-one will think it’s odd, they’ll just assume the wording has worn off.

Every time you spot a negative thought creeping into your mind, snap the rubber band.

This will give you a small twang and that will accomplish a couple of things.

First, it will mean you begin to associate pain with negative thoughts. And most of us do our best to avoid pain.

Second, it will give you those vital split seconds to bring the negative thought into the front of your mind and then banish it before it has chance to dent your self confidence.

Don’t worry if you don’t spot every negative thought, especially at first. This is a numbers game. The more negative thoughts you send away, the more you’ll boost your self confidence levels.

3. Use positive affirmations

Affirmations are just short sentences that you repeat to yourself on a regular basis.

Ideally, speak them out loud. That way, your mind gets to “hear” them twice – once when you think them and then again when you speak them.

But if there are situations when you can’t speak them out loud without embarrassing yourself, just read them to yourself.

I find that changing my screensaver to my current affirmation (or, if I’m feeling geeky, letting it choose a new random affirmation every now and then) works well.

I’m reminded of my affirmation every time I go back to my computer after a short break.

Other people find that Post-It notes work well for them.

Experiment with different ways to use affirmations on a regular basis.

And here are some to start off your collection:

• I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful
• I deserve to be happy
• I embrace positive self-esteem
• Every day in every way I’m getting better and better
• People like me

Don’t worry if these sound unnatural or out of character at first – that’s normal.

Just go with it and you’ll find your self confidence changing for the better, almost on it’s own.

4. Consider subliminals

Subliminal messages have been around for years.

They were controversially used to get people to buy more soft drinks in a movie theater campaign a number of years ago.

But they work a treat and you can use them quite ethically on yourself.

The easiest way I’ve found, especially if you’re stuck near a computer screen most of the day, is to install a simple program like this one that flashes positive affirmations up on your screen for a split second.

You won’t consciously see the messages – they wouldn’t be subliminal if you did – but your subconscious mind will see them and will start to react to them.

This kind of program is cheap and easy to use. Better still, it literally works in the background and you can set it to start every time you boot up your computer. So it really is effort free – which is the kind of thing I personally like when I’m working on my self confidence or anything else that I’d rather put off and procrastinate on!

5. Work on your gratitude

Being grateful for things can slip when our confidence and self esteem have taken a hit.

So you may need to take positive action on this one.

Start by saying the words “thank you” whenever you can. Whether it’s in a shop, at the office, at home, anywhere.

That’s sowing the seeds of being a more grateful person.

Then work gratitude into your life more often. Keep a gratitude journal (or computer document) and jot down the things you’ve been grateful for during each and every day.

Make this part of your daily routine. A lot of people find that they actually sleep better if they complete their gratitude journal just before they go to bed each night.

Just make sure that you get yourself into a routine – put an alarm note in your phone if needed, until it becomes second nature.

Or work through the exercises in a book like The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. They may seem repetitive but if you take the time out to go through them each and every day as directed, you’ll be absolutely amazed at how much your self confidence improves!