In theory, we should know our true, authentic, self automatically. But there are so many times in our modern world where we aren’t acting ourselves, it’s easy to lose touch with our true self.
Maybe it’s a quick “adjustment” to a photo we’re about to post. Maybe it’s an attempt to fit in with our friends or colleagues. Maybe you just feel like you’re always pretending to be someone else.
Whatever the reason, it’s well worth getting back in touch with the real you.
Give yourself some space
If there are people or situations where you always seem to be under pressure, take steps to distance yourself from those people or places.
You may well be drawn to them but, if that’s the case, it could be that you’re being the human equivalent of a moth being drawn to a light. It could just be an automatic response that you’ve acquired over the years.
If that’s the case, hopefully you can catch yourself at least some of the times this is likely to happen and, gradually, adjust your behavior so that it doesn’t happen as often.
The first few times you try to do that, it’s unlikely to be easy. It will probably feel awkward but that’s normal. Any new habit takes time to become a habit. Keep at it and it will get easier.
Give yourself some “me” time
It’s way too easy to make time in your life for everyone except yourself.
Set aside some time where you’re just with yourself – maybe a walk somewhere, maybe a long, relaxing bath, maybe meditate for a while, whatever works best for you.
But make sure you actually do it!
If you constantly find that you’re not spending time with yourself, allowing yourself to relax and contemplate, then you’re going to need to change.
Let the people around you know what you’re doing and why and when.
Then make sure you stick close to your self imposed timetable.
Play some games with yourself
Depending on how long it’s been since you met your authentic self, you may need to have a vivid imagination for this section.
Challenge some of the beliefs you hold about yourself – ask yourself “why” repeatedly until you get to the root cause of the belief.
And play some games with yourself
Try a few different, alternative, authentic versions of you for size.
See whether you’re comfortable in different virtual shoes – maybe being more extrovert or introvert, maybe just a change of wardrobe or a different hairstyle, or maybe something that seems wild and out of character. Whatever works best for you.
Maybe the idea of something being out of character resonates as well – could that be because you’re playing a role in life, rather than being your true self? If that’s the case, you’re definitely going to need to take steps to change. Otherwise you run the risk of never being your true self.
Step outside yourself
NLP calls this dissociation.
You view yourself as though you’re an outsider or neutral observer.
One way to do this is to imagine yourself inside a cinema, watching yourself on screen – that’s probably the easiest way I know to do this but you can play around in your mind and figure out if something works better for you.
However you choose to do it, spend enough time “watching” yourself so that you get a feel for the things you’re doing and maybe even why you’re doing them.
Doing this process can be a great way to peel back some of the protective layers that you’ve been putting around your authentic self.
Don’t be worried that you might be fragile under these layers – there’s a lot more likelihood that you’ll be stronger underneath, like a diamond in the rough.
Be prepared for a jigsaw
You’ve got a lot of component parts, both physically and mentally.
Each of them is either authentic or less authentic or just performing for friends and family.
You’re unlikely to discover the authentic version of every single one of these parts at the same time. In fact, it’s near enough impossible to do that.
Instead, you’ll come across parts here and there as you go through this journey.
Eventually, you’ll be a lot closer to your authentic self than you are now.
Help your subconscious mind help you
Our subconscious mind controls the vast majority of what happens in our body.
That includes letting your true self blossom.
But it needs guidance.
The current version of you is what your subconscious thinks you’ve asked it to deliver.
You need to tip that balance so that you start going closer towards the actual, true, you.
Speaking directly to our subconscious isn’t easy – it’s a lot easier to use a hypnosis audio to do the work of prompting your subconscious to help you.
If there are people or situations where you always seem to be under pressure, take steps to distance yourself from those people or places.
