Money seems to have an almost unique ability to stress us out. Probably because the phrase “money makes the world go round” is so true.
Unless you’re living the life of a complete hermit, you need money. It buys a roof over your head, food to eat and the other things that Abraham Maslow identified in his hierarchy of needs.
Money also buys us our luxuries – whether it’s the small luxuries like a bar of chocolate or bigger luxuries like that shiny new phone or a meal out or a holiday.
This is an awkward one to answer as we all have a slightly different relationship with money.
But it might help (slightly) to know that millionaires aren’t immune from money worries. Sam Walton – the founder of Walmart – was frugal in the extreme, even when his stores were making a small fortune. Millionaires are often worried about losing all their money which is why when the stock market crashes they react badly.
So you can take a little bit of comfort in the fact that you’re by no means alone in your stress.
But, of course, that doesn’t put cash in your bank account.
Sometimes it’s perception – you may actually have enough money to be able to live a nice life. But your aspirations (“keeping up with the neighbours”) keep pushing you to spend more and more, even if you can’t afford it. After all, there’s probably space on your credit card. Wean yourself off those impulse buys, trade down to a lesser brand for other items and you could probably trim quite a lot off your spending without really noticing.
Sometimes it’s what you think others will think of you – will they hold you in a lower place in their minds? Unless they avoid you in the street and do other nastier things, do you really care? If your so-called friends were only friends because of your money, are they really friends at all? Social status is nice to have but it doesn’t pay the bills.
Sometimes it really is not enough cash in the bank. You can take a bit of reassurance from the fact that most of the Western world is over-spent so you’re not alone. But that doesn’t help when the bills are bigger than the money coming in. If that’s the case, you need to take steps to trim the bills and/or increase your income, maybe with a second job or doing chores for other people or some other – obviously legal – method.
Whichever reason it is, you need to take a step back and chill.
Worrying about money will almost certainly make the situation worse because what we focus on is what tends to manifest itself in our life. The more we think about something the more times we see it around us just because we’ve told ourselves that’s what we want to focus on.
It’s a vicious circle that feeds on itself and just makes matters worse.
Relaxing is something most of us have forgotten how to do as we get older.
We spend far too much time fretting and worrying about things.
At its simplest, you can relax in a comfortable chair and put a “do not disturb” sign on the door. Then put on some music that you find relaxing or read a book that it’s full of doom laden messages or watch a show that hasn’t got too many negatives in it – comedies are good for that.
Another way is to take a nice walk. Take the time to notice the things around you – all the things you’ve walked past hundreds of times but never knew they were there. Make the process an active one rather than a passive one. Notice the variations under your feet, Listen to the noises around you. Look up at the roof tops and down at the gardens. You’ll be amazed at how much you discover that you never knew was there.
Another option – one of my favourites – is to use a guided hypnosis track to get you into a head space where your money worries melt away, even if only for a few hours or days.
The process of being hypnotized is relaxing anyway – you won’t be running around, clucking like a chicken, you’ll be sitting down with your headphones on, comfortably letting the world around you fade into the background while the hypnotic suggestions take effect and calm your worries about money.
You can get an excellent hypnosis track for helping you relax when stressed about money here. It’s well worth the small investment in yourself.
This is an awkward one to answer as we all have a slightly different relationship with money.
