There are times when we feel lost, alone and lonely. They can happen for any reason but, as I write this, it’s getting more common due to the lockdowns across the world.
There are lots of reasons for feeling lost and it’s easy to get locked into a vicious circle where we stop being as positive as we once were and that then drags us down further.
And telling yourself to “snap out of it” doesn’t work either.
So what can you do to break the cycle and start feeling old yourself again?
Start by accepting the feeling
This might sound odd – after all, it’s the feeling that’s causing you to wander around in your own head and not like what you’re finding there.
But the mere fact of acknowledging the feeling of being alone can help – if you can say it out loud, even better because we tend to believe things that we hear.
Thank the feeling for giving you a chance to reflect on yourself without becoming an actual hermit and cutting yourself off from the world.
Maybe even “release” on the feeling – the Sedona Method has three very simple questions that you can ask yourself about anything and it works really well with things like feeling lost in yourself.
Could I let the feeling go – put something as close to the actual feeling in this question to give it more power. Then answer either “yes” or “no” – either is correct depending on how you feel at this moment in time. “Could” means is it possible even if the answer is no.
Would I let the feeling go – again it’s a yes/no answer and either is correct. This time “would” means are you willing to let the feeling go.
When? – this needs to be a time. Anything from now to when hell freezes over is OK. It’s whatever works for you.
Repeating those three questions – with the description of the feeling changing if that’s right for you – a number of times works nicely.
If you laugh as you ask yourself the questions, that’s good but by no means essential. It’s a sign that the feeling is being released and you’ll probably be surprised at how fast this process works.
Distract yourself
One reason you could be feeling alone and lost is that you’re basically bored, so your mind has time to wallow in the negatives.
Do something that distracts you – whether that’s as simple as standing up and walking round the house or taking a walk outside (assuming that’s allowable where you are!) or listening to something on Spotify or watching a TV show or reading a book or absolutely anything else that will take your mind to a new place.
Or you might decide that a power nap could be a good way to recharge your system and get you back on track.
Remember you’re not actually alone
There are billions of people on our planet so you’re definitely not the only person here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbrY4J9Rpeo
Reach out to someone you know or someone you’ve got in your friends list on Facebook even if you don’t really know them.
Ideally an actual voice or video call – part of the loneliness can be not hearing a familiar voice or seeing someone. In lockdown, the seeing someone part isn’t do-able but phone calls definitely are. And the person you’re calling may be feeling just as alone and lost as you are but hasn’t reached out to you.
Take up a new hobby
This is a logical extension to distracting yourself but is a longer term solution as it will give you something to do longer into the future.
The hobby could be anything – maybe it’s something that’s been on your bucket list for longer than you care to admit.
Pick something that excites you – set aside 10 or 15 minutes to “bubble” a list from your mind onto a sheet of paper without editing anything that pops out, no matter how absurd it may seem.
Then set the paper aside for an hour or two or overnight to allow it to rest and let your mind play with the ideas that emerged.
Then go back and score each item. Go with the first score that comes into your head because that’s the right one, delivered by your subconscious mind before your conscious mind gets a chance to edit it and be politically correct with it.
Chances are it won’t be a boat in your basement but who knows. Go with the highest scoring idea and immerse yourself in it.
Work on your mind
Don’t be afraid to do this step.
It’s a lot cheaper than paying a shrink.
In my view. the best way to work on your mind is to allow hypnosis to do all the heavy lifting.
The part you play in the process is to download the MP3 and listen to it – your subconscious will pick out the most important and most relevant parts of the suggestions in the track and will home in on them, almost certainly without you consciously knowing what’s happening. But you will be aware that you’re not feeling as lost or alone, even if you can’t quite put your finger on the reason why.
This might sound odd – after all, it’s the feeling that’s causing you to wander around in your own head and not like what you’re finding there.
